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  • Receiving Help

    I wasn’t going to post about this. My original plan was to go through it all alone and don’t even tell my family or closest friends about it—that’s how bad I wanted to NOT draw attention to myself. And, although I’m not ready to fully discuss the situation publicly yet (give me some time to process it and someday I probably will), I wanted to share a glimpse of what I’m going through right now because I just realized something important and I feel like I need to share. Since my medical condition is “nothing life-threatening” and “so many people have it worse than me,” I genuinely felt like I shouldn’t BOTHER anyone with my problems. People have their on lives to worry about—and although I would totally support them in case THEY needed my help—I didn’t think I “needed” their support that much. Or better yet, I knew I did but I convinced myself I didn’t because “needing them” made me feel LESS than somebody who would be “strong enough” to go through this alone. But here’s the catch… we have to ADMIT we “need help” in order to receive “the help we need” to solve our problems. We literally can’t get all the answers on our own—that’s why we have “unsolved problems” in the first place! So the only solution here is to learn to RECEIVE. Only when we overcome the shame of asking for help, and reject the idea that “needing it” makes us less valuable as a person, will we be able to solve whatever problem we’re going through and GROW into a better version of ourselves. So start accepting help, my friend. If you’re struggling with something in your life, reach out to professionals or let the people around you know that you need them. Because—despite what we’ve been raised to believe—we CAN’T do everything on our own. And recognizing this doesn’t make you weaker, it actually proves how strong you are (most people would rather crumble alone than to speak up) and also exponentially increases your chances of becoming someone BETTER at the end of all this. [PS. Sending a huge THANK YOU to all the people who’ve been actively helping me get through my personal challenge!] #askforhelp #strongwomen #vulnerability #vulnerabilityisstrength #selfimprovement

  • Only 85% Perfect

    Brené Brown calls perfectionism a "shield" that we carry around, "thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from taking flight.” "Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame." — Brené Brown As a romance writer, I struggle with perfectionism every working hour of the day. It's TERRIFYING to know every word I type will be read—and potentially criticized—by thousands of people. My self-preservation instincts kick in and my first thought is: "I have to give it my all. I need to make sure everything is PERFECT before I show this to anybody." The problem is: we can't really attain perfection, can we? There's always something that can be improved, no matter how much time and effort you've already spent "improving it." So I made an important decision last year. I'm not going to try to be perfect anymore. In every area of my life—career, relationships, eating habits, lifestyle—I'm adopting the "85% rule" and embracing the fact I will NOT be perfect at least 15% of the time. How has this changed my life so far? I'm writing this blog post, aren't I? I would never have dared share my "unedited writing" with you like this if I was still hiding behind my perfectionism shield. So I'd like to invite you to think about this... What AREN'T you doing right now that you know you should be doing? Which areas of your life are you "waiting to be perfect" before you give yourself permission to "start living?"

  • Just START

    The hardest part is STARTING, I promise you. Once you’ve written that first sentence or taken those first steps…that thing you spent so much time afraid of can’t hurt you anymore. It doesn’t need to be perfect. It doesn’t even have to be good. Just DO IT! You can fix it later. You can grow and do better next time. The only thing you can’t do is to improve from a "blank page." We need something to build upon. If you really want to make this happen, there's no other option but to "do it afraid."

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